I know I should have written to you earlier, but its been really crowded here, with the sudden influx of arrivals. I think it is the single largest human migration in history after Moses and his epic march from Egypt, although the 'migration' in this case isn't exactly voluntary, as you know.
Ruth,look...please,please don't cry.... I want you to know that my death was virtually painless, honest. Granted, the element of surprise was there, but to be frank, I really don't know what I died from.... I'll hazard a guess that it was incineration. That my body was recovered and identified from the rubble was a miracle in itself, you see. It was like.... I was staring out the office window in fascination-turned-disbelief-turned-horror, and then bam! The screech of metal on metal, the shrieks...then everything goes black, and then I find myself here..... For a fleeting second I hoped it was a terrible dream, but nah.. as far as I remember, the worst of my nightmares involved me drowning in a glass of pineapple juice. Sometimes orange, for variety's sake.
But never this, Ruth....never this. And it sucks you know, being snuffed out just like that.... I certainly wasn't one of those people with a hundred dreams and umpteen ambitions...hell, the only things I had in mind were the weekend Knicks game, and our fancy Italian dinner date I'd planned...ah yes.... the place you told me about.... West 44th....Carmine's, isn't it? That's what I had in mind, it would have been such a splendid surprise for you.
Haha, look at me, going all sentimental and penning down sob stuff, which I've diligently avoided all my life. But the point is, now you know I'm okay. I don't know if this is the place they call heaven, but its nice, actually. And oh! Look who's come....my boss Reggie.....Guess his injuries finally got the better of him. I think I'll go and ask him if I really was in line for promotion, and for the first time ever, I'll hope that his answer would be a resounding 'no'. That would make it even harder, you see.
Yeah, and I finally proved you right..... I AM a major klutz. People get run over by trucks, buses, cars......... but aeroplanes? I know, I know.... it requires one to be exceptionally skilled to get run over by a flying behemoth, but there you are.... Hey, I got to go now, but I'll be writing to you often as possible, so you know....you'll be having a verbal version of me, if not the physical.
I miss you. Terribly.
Yours forever and ever,
(you can take forever in the literal sense now)
PS- To those readers who happened to bump into my letter, I'm dreadfully sorry if I haven't been clear about my death. My apologies, but I really can't bring myself to go through those details again. If you wish to pay me a visit, you can find me at the Princeton Cemetery in New Jersey. Perhaps the date on my gravestone will tell you everything you need to know.
Like they say, give peace a chance. Please.