Wings Of Fire





Dear Ruth,


               I know I should have written to you earlier, but its been really crowded here, with the sudden influx of arrivals. I think it is the single largest human migration in history after Moses and his epic march from Egypt, although the 'migration' in this case isn't exactly voluntary, as you know.


Ruth,look...please,please don't cry.... I want you to know that my death was virtually painless, honest. Granted, the element of surprise was there, but to be frank, I really don't know what I died from.... I'll hazard a guess that it was incineration. That my body was recovered and identified from the rubble was a miracle in itself, you see. It was like.... I was staring out the office window in fascination-turned-disbelief-turned-horror, and then bam! The screech of metal on metal, the shrieks...then everything goes black, and then I find myself here..... For a fleeting second I hoped it was a terrible dream, but nah.. as far as I remember, the worst of my nightmares involved me drowning in a glass of pineapple juice. Sometimes orange, for variety's sake.


But never this, Ruth....never this. And it sucks you know, being snuffed out just like that....  I certainly wasn't one of those people with a hundred dreams and umpteen ambitions...hell, the only things I had in mind were the weekend Knicks game, and our fancy Italian dinner date I'd planned...ah yes.... the place you told me about.... West 44th....Carmine's, isn't it? That's what I had in mind, it would have been such a splendid surprise for you.


Haha, look at me, going all sentimental and penning down sob stuff, which I've diligently avoided all my life. But the point is, now you know I'm okay. I don't know if this is the place they call heaven, but its nice, actually.  And oh! Look who's come....my boss Reggie.....Guess his injuries finally got the better of him. I think I'll go and ask him if I really was in line for promotion, and for the first time ever, I'll hope that  his answer would be a resounding 'no'. That would make it even harder, you see.


Yeah, and I finally proved you right..... I AM a major klutz. People get run over by trucks, buses, cars......... but aeroplanes? I know, I know.... it requires one to be exceptionally skilled to get run over by a flying behemoth, but there you are.... Hey, I got to go now, but I'll be writing to you often as possible, so you know....you'll be having a verbal version of me, if not the physical. 


I miss you. Terribly.


Yours forever and ever,
Kevin 
(you can take forever in the literal sense now)


PS- To those readers who happened to bump into my letter, I'm dreadfully sorry if I haven't been clear about my death. My apologies, but I really can't bring myself to go through those details again. If you wish to pay me a visit, you can find me at the Princeton Cemetery in New Jersey. Perhaps the date on my gravestone will tell you everything you need to know. 



In memory of  each and every life across the world that has been lost thanks to the heinous acts of those deluded fanatics who call themselves 'terrorists'. 
Like they say, give peace a chance. Please.


The Quantum Conundrum


Firstly, this is not a post about science, but an attempt to narrate yet another quirky experience of mine in this wonderful city called Delhi.


Ready? 
Great!
Time to roll back the clock,children.

Second semester, and we'd just made the happy discovery that our syllabus included a course on quantum mechanics. However, nobody could have been more chuffed about it than my friend and batch mate Aman; he was positively brimming with glee at the prospect of digesting another bunch of arcane mathematical equations which every subject seems to reduce to. Bless him.

In a celebratory mood, he decided to regale me with the story of Schrödinger's cat during the metro ride back home. I would have preferred an ice cream any day. Even a vanilla cup would do.

Anyway, for those who can follow the intricacies, its supposedly a landmark experiment that would probably dazzle you with its sheer ingenuity. However, for stalwarts like me, it was plain hokum. Schrödinger cooked up a fiendish idea chiefly involving a cat shut in a box. Lots of scientific blahs occur, with the earth shaking conclusion that the cat ends up being dead and alive simultaneously. See what I mean about this being all hokum?

Yes? 
Very good.


Didn't get it?
Even better.





Now let us leave the murky world of mad scientists and picture ourselves in the crowded metro coach in which we were travelling. 
The fat aunty? 
Check. 
The bawling kid(s)? 
Check.
The spiked-hair dude brandishing the expensive cell phone? 
Check.
The smelly uncles belching and farting in a synchronised manner?
Check.


Wonderful, now that all the passengers are in place, we may proceed with our seemingly pointless tale. Pray,do bear with me for a bit longer, you shall see what I'm driving at.


"So, according to quantum mechanics........." hollered Aman, stressing on yet another inconsequential point about that annoying cat.


"But quantum mechanics doesn't necessarily mean.........." I hollered back.


"Agla station Tilak Nagar hai," screamed the constipated voice from the public address system in the train.


"Can you believe it....she's SUCH a bitch!!!" shrieked the girl with oversized sunglasses to her 100% bitch-free group.


"You're confusing it with classical mechanics. Its quantum mechanics... QUANTUM," Aman reiterated his point, trying to ignore the voices of the non-pathetic people (read, everybody except the two of us).


"So what if its QUANTUM?" I said, imitating him.


And so we went on with this astonishingly witty conversation for a few more minutes.


It was at this point that I noticed the other passengers' interest in our debate. The aunty was frowning slightly in our direction, a couple of girls sniggered and quickly looked away and a bunch of rowdy college boys were openly chortling and high five-ing each other when they noticed that we were aware of them listening in on us. A few other passengers in our vicinity also registered expressions from that of mild curiosity, to extreme hilarity. 


Aman frowned at me, puzzled. I shrugged back, absolutely clueless as to why a coach load of passengers found, of all things, a topic as abstruse as this interesting to the point of being funny. Anyway, we got down at our station and kept walking silently towards the exit, still rather nonplussed about the whole affair.


And then it hit us, almost simultaneously. From this side of the fence, you could term it as funny, and a bit embarrassing too. We were still laughing when we parted ways for home.


Therein, we come to the end of our story.  If you realised what had actually transpired, then a wink-wink-nudge-nudge for you.
If not, the least I can do for you is provide an explanation for sticking by me so far. Very well, once again, imagine yourself to be in the noisy train compartment, with two dorks hooting 'quantum' every thirty seconds. Now, by the time our conversation reached your ears, the incessant clattering of the wheels, the prattling of the other passengers, the constant reminders from the public address system, and of course, your penchant for the good things in life, have distorted the revered scientific word into a very popular brand of contraceptive device. 


Yes, our entire conversation had been perceived by the others as two baboons indulging in a heated debate about condoms. Hence, the unnatural and widespread interest. At least we could take solace in the fact that we were promoting safe sex, ergo we had done our good turn for the day.


What say you? :)




PS- A big thank you to Ezazi for my first award :) You can read about her here.


Cheers! :)






Mirage Of A Murder



Before I begin, I would like to make it very clear that whichever qualities I may possess, imagination is certainly not one of them. Rationalism and practical thinking pervade my life, leaving no space in mind for airy-fairy thoughts, pleasant or otherwise. One of my acquaintances is of the opinion that I could easily fall asleep in a horror movie, though I will not offer my views regarding that particular topic. To my insular outlook, any incident which cannot be explained and/or justified by the general laws of science did not occur at all. Such episodes are merely attention-garnering antics for those poor souls desperate for their five minutes of fame on some equally news starved media channel.

Nonetheless, one particular occurrence considerably rattled me, and forced me to question myself on my adopted stand on what people term as ‘paranormal’ or ‘supernatural’. Once again, I will state before you the bare facts of this singularly outlandish affair, without expressing any of my personal views, since I have none. You are free to judge, form your own theories, even doubt my sanity, and come to the conclusion of your choice. And if there is any feasible interpretation on your part other than branding me a hallucinating lunatic, please do feel free to let me know.

For the time being, plod on. Bizarre it may be, but by no means is it banal.

The New Delhi railway station, as usual, played with panache the role of the overcrowded starting point of my annual summer journey to Kolkata. After dismissing the customary bunch of porters vying for my single duffel bag, I proceeded to the platform assigned to my train. It was early in the evening, and the ubiquitous tea sellers were doing brisk business. I sat on an unoccupied bench, a rare commodity at that hour, and dully noted the hubbub around me. After the initial jarring effect, you simply get used to the ruckus. Period.

Local trains came and went, ferrying commuters to and from the outskirts of this great metropolis; each one bringing its own share of additional hullabaloo with it. From my bench, I observed the opposite platform through the windows of one such train which had just chugged in. Amidst the usual haste of the people to board it, I saw something which was completely incongruous to the situation. There was a man….and the flash of metal and the telltale shape in his hand as he got shoved by the throng was enough to tell me that it was a gun. I started, got up, and moved closer to the train. I hadn’t imagined it; by now, the gun was in full display, he was pointing it at an unfortunate fellow’s forehead, and yelling. The victim’s face was suitably scared, and he too was babbling something. I stared in morbid fascination at the pair, as though watching a movie. The train, which was the barrier between me and the homicidal maniac, had started moving, and I observed the scene through the windows that now kept flitting past me. He pulled the trigger, and that made me jerk back to reality, as I dashed towards the nearest overhead bridge to take me to the next platform. Maybe that lunatic could still be caught.

It was then that the extraordinary thought struck me (yes, pardon my sluggishness); a man commits murder in front of a thousand other people, and nobody even bats an eyelid. Yes, the others in that selfsame platform did not even seem to notice that someone had just been snuffed out a couple of feet away. It was like…they were invisible to all except for me. I tried to dismiss that farcical notion and reached the ‘murder’ spot.

Nothing out of the ordinary. No blood, no body. Not even an alarmed face. It was just as before. Vendors hawking their stuff, people milling around waiting for the next train, a regular railway platform, unhindered by insalubrious criminal activities. And that perturbed me even more. Like I have mentioned, I do not approve of imagination, at least not as large-scale as this. I certainly had not invented the victim’s hawk like face, the killer’s heavily bearded countenance and his yellow shirt.

For all practical purposes, there was no reason to raise an alarm. When a hundred people, who were closer to the spot than you were couldn’t see what you could, the only logical conclusion is that your mind was playing tricks on you. But this wasn’t the regular kind of chicanery, I had to admit. No sane person visualised a murder of some random unknown individual in a crowded station.

By now, my own train had arrived. This time I was part of the boarding crowd, which was thankfully devoid of gun-toting assassins, imaginary or not. I found my berth, and with some difficulty, fell asleep.


Two weeks later

My dull holiday had done little to dispel the memories of my unsavoury vision. As the train entered New Delhi station and crawled to a stop, I was annoyed to note that it was the very same psychopathic platform once more.  Alighting, I hadn’t taken even two steps when I saw it. Hawk-face from my ‘vision’ was lying spread-eagled in a pool of blood, in a small space now cordoned off by the police, who were busy controlling the chaos. I caught phrases like ‘morning’, ‘gun’, ‘two bullets’, ‘clean through the head’, ‘got away’, etcetera, etcetera from the mayhem. I had had enough…..as I made my way towards the exit, a hand rested on my shoulder. I turned around to find myself facing a burly cop holding a photocopy of a rough sketch of a heavily bearded man with shrewd eyes, someone who by now was very familiar to me.

“Seen him? Wore a yellow shirt, according to witnesses….” He asked.
I stared at the photograph for a while, and finally looked at him.
“No,” I replied shortly, “No, I haven’t”.
The policeman was evidently expecting more curiosity from me. However, I shrugged noncommittally, and hefting my duffel bag, I made my way out of the station just as it started raining heavily.


*This piece of fiction is the result of reading too much of Edgar Allan Poe  :)

The Sound Of Music


Left was devastated.


Right was as good as dead. He could have never survived that fall; he was delicate, he was old but at least he had been with Left, standing staunchly with her. He was all she had cared for in their pitch black world...her husband, her support, her soulmate and her only friend. Right's voice had mesmerised her the first time they'd sung the Lionel Richie-Diana Ross duet for their obnoxious master.

Although both of them were blind, she had known that she had been married to the right mate; he sang beautifully, and they made a fantastic couple; a couple oblivious to the delightful sights that the world had to offer, but more than compensating for it with their all-encompassing love for each other, which brightened their days and warmed their hearts, so that they had never even stopped to wonder how it feels to be able to see.


Now that Right had lost his voice forever, they would have no choice but to leave.The cruel master did not care for a bereaved wife; if your partner was rendered useless, then you were useless too. Mr. and Mrs. Bose were due any minute, they would be replacing Right and herself as the new facilitators of the acoustic pleasures that their master loved. The Boses would be taking up residence at their erstwhile home. In any case, Left had no inclination to stay without her husband; for that matter, she had lost her will to live too. She wished they could sing together once more, their last hurrah. She wished Right had not died so quickly, so suddenly, leaving her alone to face this bitter world. 


Left heard footsteps; the master was coming, he was coming to wrench them away from their dwelling. She was incapable of opposing him, and had accepted the fact that their time had come. The Boses had arrived. She closed her unseeing eyes, said a little prayer for Right and surrendered herself to the harsh fate awaiting her.


It was all over.




PS- The above is in fond memory of my Creative computer speakers. The right one took a nasty spill from the  table and was wrecked beyond repair, so both were chucked out by yours truly. Now you know who the obnoxious+cruel master is. A toothpick for you if you've figured it out on your own.
Oh, and have you seen the price tag of a Bose speaker? Looks more like a telephone number to me,so buying one still remains a pipe dream. Hence, the Bose speakers in the above account are purely figments of my imagination.


And before I finish, a warm welcome to the Altec Lansing pair gracing the table now :)




        PPS-







Delhi Underbelly



The thirty minute auto ride from Nehru Place to Tughlaqabad Institutional Area was something that over the previous couple of weeks, I had learned to approach with caution, if not apprehension. In that relatively short period of time, I had rubbed shoulders with prostitutes, eunuchs and hordes of drug addicts drooling on my shoulder, all within the confines of the rickety three wheeled contraption.
The eunuch affair was particularly disturbing or downright hilarious, depending on your school of thought. They had trooped in, six of them, had grinned at me and had started bawling merrily, accompanied by cymbals and an occasional gesture in my direction, asking me to join the party. Maybe they were singing about their castration, but I did not ask. Somehow it didn't seem prudent.

Anyway, I digress. My apologies.

The chief reason for experiencing such delightful co-passengers was the fact that the route happens to pass through Govindpuri. For the uninitiated, let me put it this way. If Delhi is Middle Earth, Govindpuri is Mordor. If you still don't get it, here's another fun fact. More than half of the city's felons are extracted from the slums of Govindpuri, if and when the police feel like arresting them. That place is as seedy as they come.

If you are still interested, then you would probably ask why I went through the grind everyday and still cribbed about it. No no, I have no alpha male illusions about myself; it takes me multiple swats to kill a half dead mosquito, so holding my own against a bunch of antisocial toughs would be my forte in a parallel universe, never in this. The metro was a more sensible option, but the nearest station was pretty far from my office, and apart from being a wimp of the highest order, I am also very lazy. Do remind me to highlight these points in my CV.

So, once again on a drizzly morning I was sitting inside an auto, waiting for it to fill up so we could begin the bumpy sojourn. Presently two men entered and stretched themselves.Lets call them Red Shirt and Check Shirt. It was one of those rare occasions when blessed normal souls cared to join the travelling party. 

Ah, the irony of it all.

The driver seemed to know these two, and had started his metallic bag of bones without waiting to fill it up with passengers right up to its last inch, as was the routine. That should have been my first clue. My second clue was a visual treat; Red Shirt had pulled out a black revolver from his pocket and was twirling it thoughtfully in his hand. He noticed me staring at his gun, pointed it at me, made a sudden 'bang' noise, and sniggered along with his partner. For obvious reasons, I failed to see the humour in it. Nothing is ever funny when you're at point blank range.

"Loaded, country made," he declared. He seemed happy about that, so sacrificing my happiness for my own sake, I converted my expression into what I hoped was an admiring one.

"Where to?" he went on. So  the day had finally come when I had started engaging myself in banal morning chitchat with a possible murderer.

"Tughlaqabad. Job....internship." I wished he'd put that revolver away.

He laughed as though watching a Jim Carrey movie. "Money in your pockets, a possible laptop in that bag of yours, and you still.....?" he continued laughing, "See this?" he said, indicating his gun. "This, is a magic wand; I point this at you, you automatically hand over your stuff to me. Magic, see?" He banged the seat, overflowing with mirth.

If fairy tale dialogues included death threats, they wouldn't be much different from the way Red Shirt put it.


"Anyway," Check Shirt piped in, "You're unlucky, Bakshi's the one going to take the hit today," he stubbed out his cigarette, took the gun out of his friend's hand and rapped its butt sharply on the metallic grill, indicating the driver to stop. They got out, leaving me slightly befuddled. The driver behaved as though nothing had happened, perhaps this was nothing new to him; the mere sight of these two men had instigated him to start his half empty vehicle from the auto stand, clearly indicating that mob bosses ruled the roost in these places.


I reached office and worked furiously on my pointless project all day. Before leaving, I caught hold of the security guard. 


I had a vital question for him. "Sirjee, how do you reach the Saket metro?"




PS- The conversation included in the above account has been extensively censored. Apart from that, I have attempted to record everything as they actually happened.